“We’re making memories here, people!” -Sharie (Hey, look! It’s Sharie again!)
Ok, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Probably Aren’t Reading This, But It’s Still A Good Point
Sooooo, since it’s popped up in my Facebook newsfeed three times so far today, it must be a major story. Apparently, Brad Pitt just did an interview with The Hollywood Reporter and is possibly taking back his promise to not get married to Angelina until everyone in America has the right to get married.
Let’s talk about all the ways that this is lame. Not one thing I’m about to say is going to be what you expect me to say.
First of all, it was lame to promise not to get married to begin with (heretofore referred to as The Proclamation). Gay people in America have enough problems without Brad and Angie blaming their commitment phobias on them. So, right out of the gate, Super Lame.
Secondly, I’m pretty sure that most of the lawmakers in America didn’t exactly shiver with fear when Brangelina made The Proclamation. It’s not like ol’ George Bush and his cronies lost any sleep over whether their agenda to deny rights to tax paying Americans was causing a Hollywood power couple to forsake the bonds of marriage and shack up like a couple of heathens.
So, what exactly did Brad and Angie do for the gay community with The Proclamation? Pretty much nothing. Admittedly, I don’t really have any hard data to prove my point, but do you know of anyone who was uber-rabidly, semi-rabidly, or even moderately-rabidly anti-gay who changed their mind upon learning that their bigotry was keeping Brangelina from cashing in on… uh, I mean…. delighting in the mortal bonds of matri-money?
There may have been a slight uptick of people talking about gay marriage for twenty minutes, but if you were for gay rights before The Proclamation, you just shrugged and finished your sushi. And if you were an anti-rights gay-hating asswipe before The Proclamation, you pretty much still were afterwards (exactly how did you find this blog post anyway?) and just kept on kicking your dog.
But, Amanda, (you ask) what’s a poor celebrity to do?
Oh, I dunno (I say), maybe put their talent where their unearthly white teeth are and help some fellow humans out. Do what they do to help bring some positive attention and sympathy to some people who could use it just a little bit. You know, like Heath and Jake did?
I mean, it’s not like Angie hasn’t dabbled. We all appreciated looking at her smooching on that girl in that one made for cable movie back when nobody knew who she was. And it was sweet of her to allude to maybe being on the other team in a couple of other movies. But seriously, those movies were sooooo forgettable that I’m not even gonna bother to google them and tell you what their names were. That’s just way too much work.
But if Hollywood’s most beautiful and socially conscious royal couple feels so strongly about the rights of gay Americans to get married, why don’t they actually DO something? Seriously, how effective is pledging not to do something that you didn’t really want to do anyway to a group of people who don’t give a shit about your pledge, forcryinoutloud?
Because, honestly, I think that they should get married. Marriage is cool. Marriage is a way to validate your commitment to your partner and express that commitment to your community and to society. It’s how you indicate to the world how deeply you feel about a person, and that you’ve chosen to spend your life with just this one person. It also protects your family unit. From …. stuff.
So I hear.
And if you want to be Mightier Than a Hollywood Superstar and actually DO something, I urge you to get educated this election year. Learn about the candidates, and not just those psychos trying to be president. Learn about the candidates that actually affect your everyday life, the ones in your state and county. Figure out what they stand for. Pick the best one. Then, for the Love of Chocolate, get out and VOTE. You will be proud of yourself. And then all your wrinkles will magically disappear and your life will improve.