Reading other photographer’s blogs is an important part of being a photographer. In fact, I’m basically convinced that only other photographers read photographer’s blogs. Seriously, why would any person with a life regularly visit a blog to read about other people’s photo shoots? Then again, I don’t understand why people watch game shows either. If I’m not the one winning $10,000, I’m just not that interested.
Anyway, I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of photographers saying lots of cryptic stuff that maybe people who aren’t professional photographers don’t understand. So, here’s a rough translation for non-photographers so that you can understand what we’re trying to tell you.
1. The photographer says, “I’m a natural light photographer.”
Translation: “I have no idea how to use off camera lighting, so I’ll probably drag you all over the photo shoot location at a dead run trying to find ‘perfect (any)’ light.”
2. The photographer says, “I do minimal post processing.”
Translation: “I have no idea how to use Photoshop.”
3. The photographer says, “I take natural unposed photos.”
Translation: “I don’t know how to pose people in a way that will flatter them and make them look natural and not awkward, so I wing it and hope for the best. Sometimes I’ll even take photos looking up your nose because those are artistic. Tissue?”
4. The photographer says, “I love weddings and I’ll probably cry at yours.”
Translation: “I cannot keep my composure and I’ll probably miss a couple of important shots during the ceremony. Sorry, I was carried away by the moment. Tissue?”
5. The photographer says, “I love black and white.”
Translation: “Converting to black and white saves my hide and makes a grossly overexposed/underexposed/blurry shot usable. Heck, that one’s art and I’ll charge you extra for it!”
6. The photographer says, “No, you don’t have a double chin.”
Translation: “You won’t have one when I’m done in Photo-Chop.”
7. The photographer says, “I only photograph weddings. Weddings are my specialty.”
Translation: “I can’t earn enough to feed my dog shooting anything else.”
8. The photographer says, “I don’t specialize in any kind of photography. I’ll photograph anything.”
Translation: “Somebody hire me. Please! I’ll do anything.”
9. The photographer says, “No I’d rather not let you see the images on the camera. I prefer to show only finished images.”
Translation: “God, I hope I can fix this in Photoshop.”
10 The photographer says, “OMG! This is the most amazing photo. You look amazing!”
Translation: “OMG! This is the most amazing photo. You look amazing! I am a Photography Genius!”
So there you have it. Now you know what we’re really saying… get out there and have your photo session in confidence.